Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Kersti downed in freak stretching accident


Melbourne: After exercising, a reasonably fit 26-year old female badly damaged her left tibia while stretching. Kersti Miller, an American postgraduate student working on a master of environment degree at Melbourne Uni, biked for 35 minutes and ran for 20 minutes on the treadmill before stretching her hip on a wooden banister (pictured above). Details are presently unclear as to how exactly she managed to ram her tibia against the banister, and why. A witness on the rowing machine stated, "I saw her stretching her hip, but then when she went to switch legs, she hit the corner of the banister really hard and went down."

Visibly shaken and clearly trying to repress the humiliation that was brewing, she breathed hard, whispered a rapid succession of obscenities and went to the official stretching area (which included soft blue mats) where she attempted to restrain tears. It was there that she saw the enormous lump protrude from the top of her tibia and went to consult one of the gym employees. An unnamed Fitness Instructor, stated that the bump was created so quickly simply as a result of the increased blood flow after exercise. She suggested ice. Miller appeared to be calmed and retrieved ice from the gym staff. After 20 minutes of icing and reading a gossip magazine, she left the gym.

3 hours since the initial impact, she is still "paralyzed in pain". "It won't stop throbbing," Miller claims. William Peter, the victim's husband, spoke to reporters once he returned home and found Miller writhing in a mixture of self pity, humiliation and pain. He stated he "plans to drug her so she shuts up," but will monitor the injury closely through the night and tomorrow morning.

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